1. If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 2. When you are computing and someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 3. When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer. 4. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual . . . oh wait, there is no manual. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human - it's downright natural. 7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up. 8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.